Community and Connectedness

I just had coffee with a friend whom I have mentioned before. She came to my church for a while with her family, but really reacted negatively against what she saw as "Christian exclusivism." But the more I talk to her, the more I realize that we have a lot fundamentally in common.

She asked me what I thought the role of churches was in today's culture. I replied with my well-practiced line about people no longer needing the church as a place to meet friends or to socialize. The church doesn't function as a meeting place at the centre of the community any longer, I said. It has to do with offering a Big Narrative from which people can perceive the meaning of their own stories.

The conversation went in a different direction, and after a while she said, "You said people don't look to the church for community and friendship any more, yet that's exactly what I think they're hungry for. Everyone is so isolated and just crying out for contact with others." That led us to talk about the reasons for this and what we can do about it. She told me about a couple of instances where she has spontaneously struck up conversations, invited people to her home and taken the initiative to create friendships.

I left thinking that I really might have something to learn from this spiritually searching yet institutionally alienated person. And thinking how important these conversations over coffee can really be.