What do people want from the church?

I got 200 written surveys from people between 25 and 50 telling me about their attitudes towards church. For the most part, these are people who aren't in church all that often.

In answer to the question "What would you like the church to do for you personally?"

47% said, "Help me deal with experiences of pain and loss."
46% said, "Teach me to be a better person."
45% said, "Provide a sanctuary away from the stress of life."
45% said, "Increase my knowledge of the Bible and Christianity."
And 40% said, "Help me improve my relationships with family and friends."

This is pretty much in line with what sociologist Reg Bibby has been arguing -- that what people are looking for is help with family, spirituality and relationships, and if churches can figure out a way of touching people in those places, then they will reconnect with some of them.

It seems to me that churches ought to be uniquely situated to address all of these needs. The church is still the most accessible place people can turn to when they are trying to cope with pain and loss. Religious communities have long experience with "soul care." Congregations should be exploring ways of making that help more available. Goodness knows, there's plenty of pain and loss out there, and the Christian message is rich in resources to help people find meaning in those difficult times.

I wonder if many churches have concluded that it's not their job to help people become better people. There seems to be an almost pathological fear of appearing to be "judgmental" and not affirming folks where they are. But almost half of my survey respondents want somebody to help them, first of all, define what "being a better person" means and, secondly, give them some practical assistance in getting there. Again, the church has a 2000 year tradition of moral formation which we do not always access as we could.

The sanctuary one surprised me a little bit. Although it shouldn't have. People feel shell shocked by the frenetic pace and overwhelming demands of contemporary life. They want a place where they can go for some respite and healing. For a couple of generations at least, mainline churches have been addicted to activism and critical of any desire to retreat from the world. And yet so many people want a sense of sanctuary and safety. I wonder what we could be doing to address that perceived need?

Four out of ten people just want to understand what it's all about a little better. They want to have a better grasp on what Christianity is. It's interesting that this choice far outstripped another option on the survey, "To learn more about other religions." People want to know who they are and where they've come from. Sounds like a practical task for churches to address.

And people want help with their relationships. Again, that should be right down our alley.

The demand is there. The hard part is figuring out how to effectively deliver the goods. But it might start by churches simply letting it be known, in whatever way works, that they have a lot to offer. And then offering it.

Bibby argues that one reason a lot of people don't look to the church for very much is that they don't they have very high expectations of what the church has to offer. If churches could demonstrate that they have resources that will address they points of need, they'll be able to reconnect with many of their affiliates.

Interestingly, only 5% of respondents said, "I don't want the church to do anything for me."